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Hello dear reader. It’s that time of the year again – roses, hearts, candy, chocolates and many more reminders of that Valentine’s Day is a celebration of “love”. Last year, I wrote a blog post for this holiday specifically for those with broken or lonely hearts. (You can read it by clicking here!)

This year I decided to write on a different theme: self-love.

Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is the time when we celebrate the romantic love between two people. But I would suggest that Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to celebrate the love you have for Yourself. 


Now, I know there are many reasons why we don’t often love ourselves – both in feeling and in action. Some people identify having low self-esteem, or have never been told they are indeed lovable. Others have never been taught to actively show themselves care and consideration in the same way they would to their friends, family, etc. These barriers to self-love are so important to talk about. I’m hoping to write more on this at a later date to share with you.

For now, take a look at this list 4 ways to “Be Your Own Valentine”.

{To be honest – number 4 is my favorite!}


1) Write yourself a love note.

It might sound silly to some, but it’s almost like writing in a journal. Think about all of the things you love, like and enjoy about yourself. Think about all of the hard work you’ve done. Think about all of the wonderful qualities of your personality. Think about compliments you’ve received from others. Now, write to yourself about how much you appreciate these beautiful things!


2) Schedule a block of time today [or later this week] for a few self-care activities.

And try not to “cancel” on yourself. You are more than worth the time and effort that goes into self-care. And once you try it, I guarantee you will enjoy it. You will feel happier, well-rested, calm, hopeful and grateful – and so much more! {Don’t know what self-care is? Don’t worry – here’s a list of ideas to get you going!}

3) Do something that is only for you.

Is there a movie out that no one wants to see, except you? A favorite food no one else cares for? Take yourself on a “date” and do/see/eat those things that are special for your one and only You. It can be so hard to prioritize your favorite things if no one around you shares the same interest. Today is the perfect opportunity to make it about you!


4) Give yourself a gift.

I want to say right away – you don’t need to spend a lot of money (or any at all) to do this well. Remember what people always say about gifts – “It’s the thought that counts.” What is something you’d like to give yourself? If you have the means [$$$], maybe it is a special item you’ve been saving up for! Or it could even be as simple [and cheap!] as a cute of coffee from that cute cafe you love. Or even the gift of “time” – let yourself go to sleep an hour earlier than usual. Whatever it is – it’s really more about the intention behind the act of giving, which is being kind to yourself, and considerate of your needs & preferences. It’s such a special thing to treat yourself.


5) Give yourself permission to dream something big.

More often, than I would like to admit – I hold myself back. I think everyone does this to a certain degree. So, one of the greatest acts of “self-love” can be simply opening up space in your mind and heart to possibilities you normally shy away from. Now, this can be so different for each person. What’s a dream you’ve been holding yourself back from? Traveling to that special place? Exploring a new career path? Learning a new hobby?

And maybe it’s not one thing, but a way of living or being that you feel drawn to?

Becoming more assertive. Slowing down and working less. Practicing gratitude.

The possibilities are truly endless.

Like I said earlier – this is my favorite item on the list. Let me explain why.

As a therapist, it is my deep joy to help support, guide, and collaborate with people who want happier, healthier and more “whole” lives. But this process starts with a dream, a hope, a wish, a desire – for more. Make no mistake, this can be scary or bewildering. But I know that more is possible no matter who you are, or what your story is. More happiness, freedom, love, acceptance, peace, creativity, connection…and whatever else you are searching for.


To contact me about your dreams for your life, please fill out a contact form, or call me at 630-923-5114.

Hope to hear from you soon!